Nov 122012
 
Manipulators use vulnerable people. marin freedigitalphotos.com

Do you feel conned by a manipulator? Photo by marin/freedigitalphotos.com

Emotional manipulators take advantage of vulnerable groups. These groups are specific people who need help. They become easy targets for the people who need someone to control.

The manipulators can be your spouse, partner, family and even friends. These manipulators will take advantage of your helpless situation when given the opportunity.

Vulnerable Groups

Vulnerable groups can include addicts, homeless, mentally ill, abused spouses and the unemployed. These are the population groups that normally rely on others to help them get out of a situation they are in.

We all find ourselves in a position at some point in our lives when we need help from someone to bail us out of our predicament.

Unfortunately, this is when the manipulators come alive. These few select people see it as an opportunity to take advantage of the other person. The pretense of helping will put that vulnerable person in their psychological control, which is what they thrive for. They will go out of their way to help, but not for altruistic reasons.

The manipulators see it as their opportunity to gain something from that person. They may relish in the idea of having that person in their control. They want something; it may be a financial gain, to elevate their own low self-esteem or possibly to be an authoritarian, among numerous other possibilities. The reasons for this controlling need depend on the individual’s internal deficit.

How to Recognize Emotional Manipulators

It is normal to want to show gratitude for the help received, as most people are appreciative for the help. But once they are stable and don’t need any more help is when the helper (manipulator) then changes. This change could even be noticeable in the personality with an authoritative role (used to be amiable but now is bossy). They make the person they helped feel guilty by holding it over their head with subtle innuendos or expectations. The manipulators use these psychological means to get their way, or whatever perpetrated their intentions.

This was the ulterior motive for helping.

While it’s not always possible, it is best to allow a trusted person to help you. If you feel obligated to the person who helped you and feel duress, you were probably used for his/her gain. You were a tool for their purpose.

Make amends by reimbursing monetary issues if needed, return a favor and move on. Do not allow the manipulator to have this control over you. Getting help does not mean giving up your sense of self.