Dec 182013


Forbidden relationships can cause inner stress.

Forbidden relationships can cause inner stress. Photo by David Castillo Dominici/

Before entering ‘forbidden relationships,’ individuals need to ask themselves insightful questions. The forbidden relationships I’m referring to is one that is technically legal but culturally forbidden such as (but not limited to) age differences/gap, gay relationships and a conjoining of different religions. These types of relationships can cause turmoil within the immediate family and with friends while ‘raising eyebrows’ in the community.

First and foremost, a forbidden relationship must not hurt anyone nor be illegal. The topic in this article will be directed to only the culturally forbidden relationships.

The questions before engaging in forbidden relationships can be diverse and intimate. They are unique to each individual depending on the circumstances and personal needs. This requires that individuals should have a ‘self-awareness’ to be completely honest about their inner feelings. They need to understand the dynamics of what they want or desire from a forbidden relationship.

Some questions to ask yourself could be associated with intrapersonal (inner) issues. These issues could be manifested as a rebellious ‘acting out’ as a way to distant oneself from the family clan. It is akin to an extreme autonomous need to be different from them. Thus, the interest would then be an inner spiteful emotion due to a familial rebellion. Not a healthy reason to enter into a forbidden relationship.

Another intrapersonal issue that could influence an attraction for forbidden relationships is for the ‘thrill’ of it. That adrenaline rush from going against what is expected or that social shock from others. Typically, these types of individuals may be viewed as being dramatic. They usually like attention and the forbidden relationship may just be what they need to achieve that.

Gay Forbidden Relationships

I am including gay relationships as certain religions cannot accept the non-traditional unions. But there is a twist to this: Most gay relationships are not legally or culturally forbidden in our American society (excluding marriages) but will be mentioned in the context of pretense.

The gay community has been and continues to be discriminated against in our society, therefore they may ‘act’ straight by initiating a straight relationship to appease others. This ‘straight’ diversion could be considered a false pretense which relatively speaking, would also be considered a forbidden relationship.

They may start a relationship with the opposite sex from an inner conflict or denial. That would make the relationship’s intent not from inner affection but from social rejection. Consequently, the dichotomous ‘forbidden’ part is forcing the traditional relationship.

The bottom line is individuals are advised to dig deep into their psyche to decipher the reasons why they are attracted to a forbidden relationship.

Are you oppositional, rebellious or are you just trying to fit in? Maybe you need a parental figure or financial security that supersedes affection.

Be honest with yourself.