Jan 012014

Beauty is what you are willing to see. Photo by Fran Childress

We all know the metaphor “beauty is skin deep,” but I disagree. Beauty is not skin deep. True beauty goes right to the bone.

We’ve all seen pictures of cancer patients without hair and we see them as beautiful. We’ve seen plus size models and secretly wished we were that attractive. And we’ve seen older women who could make young, sexy models feel ashamed.

What do these people have in common? Their inner beauty shines through their external skin and makes them beautiful.

Beauty versus Sexy

Beauty is more than skin deep, and it’s more than being in the “eyes of the beholder.” The beholder’s eyes may be influenced by biological needs, therefore giving in to the threshold of natural selection and innate desires. The inherent need to procreate blinds the judgment of the beholder. This judgment then feeds into the idea that being sexy must be considered beauty. So it’s our minds that fool us into believing that sexy means beauty.

The current societal norm has beauty and sexy thrown into the same definition. Being sexy is not being beautiful. Being sexy is just falling into the ideations of what others desire of us. Feeling sexy stimulates our natural hormones whilst fooling us into believing it’s beautiful. And it’s vice-versa; our hormones stimulate us into thinking we need to be beautiful to attract a partner. This deception comes from our inner core and is encouraged by misleading dogma. Yes, we are fooling ourselves with Mother Nature’s blessing.

The truth is that sexy is biological and beauty is psychological. The difference is clear once you understand the dynamics.

Women think they are beautiful only when they can appear sexy to others. Bigger lips, voluptuous breasts, smaller waists and long tresses are all attributes that attract an amorous partner for sensual pleasure. But that’s not beauty, that’s sexy.

Don’t misunderstand; the act of sex can be beautiful, but only if the idea of sexy is removed. Making love comes from the mind and is beautiful. Having sex is just that, having sex, without any beautiful meaning attached to it. Again, these are two different meanings.

Beauty can be a lot of things. It can be attitude, compassion, tolerance and patience. It can be with or without make-up, in a dress and heels or lounging around in sweat pants. It can also be bald, overweight and mature.

Beauty always comes from the soul, not the hormones.

If you want to be sexy, get botox. If you want to be beautiful, develop beauty from within.

Go out in the world and be your beautiful self.