When I was younger, I was determined not to let getting older affect my emotional well-being. I planned on welcoming the senescence right along with learning new things and experiencing new journeys. I saw first-hand how women were afraid of their gray hair and wrinkles and how it deeply affected them.
They would color and dye their gray hair, use lotions and creams to ward off wrinkles and age spots and wear accessories that would ‘hide’ the fact that they were getting older. The aging process affected them right down to the very core! Most of these women would take it a step further and also lie about their age!
Nope. Not me.
I swore I would never color my hair, wear concealing make-up or go under the knife for a younger looking appearance. I remember telling people that I don’t wear a whole lot of make-up because I can’t see it, so it would only be for others to see. If I can’t see it, why wear it? I wore very little and that was just to hide the bags under my eyes which made me look sickly. I didn’t like people asking me all the time if I felt okay since I ‘looked’ tired. I may have looked tired but I am what I am and I won’t be ashamed of the natural process of aging.
I am an Old Woman
Now that I am older, I am a prime candidate for disguising those wrinkles with either make-up or cosmetic surgery. Yes, there is an old looking woman staring back at me in the mirror. She looks familiar, but I don’t see myself being her age. I see myself as a young maiden with bright eyes and tanned skin; a twenty-something young woman is how I see myself, not this old woman in the mirror.
She is the phantom that I spoke of at a younger age. She has come from my past to haunt me. Am I afraid?
Nope. Not me.
I am not afraid of that old woman in the mirror staring back at me. I may not be familiar with her, maybe I’ll never be but I’m not afraid of her. She has lived a rich life and has had many experiences to vouch for her wrinkles and poor eyesight. She has earned the title of ‘old woman,’ so she deserves to be at peace with herself.
Let the rocking chair rock!